Faded Memories: Dev Log 5

Anxiety and feeling overwhelmed is now becoming a constant thing. There is too much to think about and it’s becoming too much to handle lately. Unfortunately, I have to just trudge through it and get it all done. It doesn’t help that I will be in Europe for two weeks next month, and therefore have to finish a lot of schoolwork ahead of time. C’est la vie…

Thesis has not progressed since last post except to say that I have been thinking about implementation in my head. Planning is something I feel I am pretty good at but I also realize it is an on-going process. Whenever I plan something, I try to think of it in its entirety. However, I quickly find out once I start implementing that I will need to plan more or plan a feature in greater detail. As such, these initial notes will change:

But that is what thesis is about. It’s about our practice and about fluidly changing the project as is required.

My sketchbook is not really a sketchbook anymore in a literal sense. I write notes, ideas, anything that comes to my mind and hope that I will be able to realize it all one day. My practice is never-ending because I generate more ideas that I can produce. I am well aware they are not all amazing ideas and some I’ll look at later and think “nah, that’s stupid” but it was an idea at one point. I think when I reflect on this and then think about my practice, I realize that I chase dreams and don’t have anything concrete to say about my practice as a whole. I do whatever comes to my mind and feel the need to constantly create things. If I’m not doing something, I’m not living in a way and that starts to make me antsy and nervous.

Maybe in a way it’s good I put too much on my plate, at least then I’m busy.