All articles filed in thesis

School has been hitting me harder than I imagined. I barely have time to work on thesis this semester and that’s not a good thing. I need to reorganize my time and figure out a schedule that allows me to spend a good chunk of time on thesis while not neglecting other things. Next semester should be better for me as I have less classes but I am not holding my breath about it.

I’ve begun to model assets for the game. Late, I know, but better than never. I have a game controller working with the build (or at least the main part of the game) which is a nice bonus. Most of my time for thesis gets put into research and writing reports or the like. While I know these are important and are supposed to help me in the long run, it’s annoying. I need to focus on other things and instead I’m reading and writing, not making.

On the 28th, I went to Aging 2.0 – a conference about new technologies in the field of elder care. I was suggested to go to this by one of my professors, Dr. Martha Ladly after she heard my Greenlight presentation. The conference was really quite interesting and the technologies and services being developed for elder care and independence are ingenious. They were a nice mix of giving back independence to those who are at risk to lose it and a way to make the aging process more enjoyable.

Unfortunately, none of the technology really could help my thesis as it is an extremely personal one. Were my thesis to be more about helping people with Alzheimer’s “recover” or deal with the disease better, than perhaps it would be useful. Likewise, if it dealt directly with methods on how to give care to those with the disease, then one or more of the technology presented may have had a concurrent purpose with mine. However, as my thesis deals with personal stories, it can only indirectly help those who have gone through similar experiences and perhaps help those people cope with the experience.

Dr. Ladly has been making me think about who my target audience is and whether my thesis has a broader audience appeal. I realize that my target audience should be people who have lived similar experiences but it’s hard to target them as the stories are personal and therefore may not be relevant to others. I should look into whether That Dragon, Cancer had a target audience starting out or whether it was created to express a family’s story.

This is a powerpoint of my Greenlight presentation for my thesis. The thesis has not changed much from last year, but is scoped to be more manageable.

Initial Research Presentation

School has started again and with it, back to thesis. Over the summer, I had begun work on my thesis but eventually got side-tracked until when I came back, I realized I had planned the game structure out wrong. Due to this, I am behind on where I had expected to be by now but that is ok. I am excited to be getting back into the swing of making the game and with school back in swing, I’ll be able to focus on it that much more.

I had started out in the summer revving to start on my thesis and I did. I started to code the movement, the menu, I learned about player preferences, I even did research into the layout of the nursing home and got pictures of everything. What started out strong quickly fell by the wayside as work became my priority. The good thing about this is that coming back to it, I can see what the flaws in my original plan were and I can integrate newer strategies to make it better now. I still have all the pictures and plans, so now it’s just a matter of using them. I didn’t really take a step back on my progress, I sort of just took a step to the side instead.

The scope of my thesis is quite large however. After creating a quick gantt chart (which I’ve never done before), I realized how much work is necessary even though I know I haven’t listed everything necessary yet. I knew the amount of work was going to be a lot but until you plot and map it out, you don’t really comprehend the full enormity of it. As such, I think it would be more prudent to focus on one or two stages (read: memories) instead of all of them. This way I can show the difference between two memories from different stages in life as well as make the narratives that much stronger by taking my time on them.

I will talk about my grandfathers, the inspiration for my thesis and many aspects of my life.

I never realized how much my grandfathers meant to me until they were gone. I knew that as I grew older I appreciated them more but it wasn’t until they were gone that I felt regret over not getting to know them better.

Both my grandfathers took part in World War II. One was in the Navy, the other was a rifleman in the Queen’s Own Rifles and took part in the D-Day operation. I never spoke to either of them about their role in the war. I didn’t want to bring up bad memories despite wanting to know what they did and what they experienced. As the years passed and they fell further into Alzheimer’s I realized my chance had been lost forever. I assume the both of them suffered PTSD due to their actions and quietness in my life, however I knew they were both full of love and caring despite what their life had contained.

Perhaps it is due to the knowledge that one is gone that I feel regret for not speaking to my grandfathers more. Even though I know I spoke to them as much as I could and that they loved me, I wonder if I will ever feel as if I did enough. The emotion hits harder when I remember that they knew not who I was when they looked at me. The memory of my existence to them faded over the years as much as their memory of who they were did as well.

The emotion and pain I feel about the loss of my grandfathers is only balanced by the fact that I was lucky to know them and have as many years as I did knowing them. Not everyone is as lucky as I was to know my grandfathers (and my grandmothers as well).

My grandfathers influence me due to the kindness and strength they showed throughout their lives. I hope my thesis can show even half of this love to anyone who plays Faded Memories.

As the semester finishes, thesis begins in earnest. Unfortunately for my thesis to be realized I must begin work on it immediately. I had always planned this, but after going through the planning and conceptual stages, it has become readily apparent that I need to get on this thing now.

I know my thesis will change in many ways next year. Right now, the initial concept calls for 5 stages, but I know time constraints will drop this to less. I also want to make the stages I create resonant with people, so focusing on one stage at a time is imperative.

A lot of art and assets will be needed. A lot of research still needs to be done. While it seems like an overwhelming wall of work, I’m excited it is close to beginning. I have written way too many essays this semester and would prefer doing a lot more hands on work. I relish the chance to actually be creating something.

Something I have not considered much is how I am going to present this. There will be a grad exhibition next year, but there is also Level Up which I should consider showing at. The downside to this is that my game is not meant to be viewed at a setting such as Level Up. I will need to think of a way to bring quiet and calm to the chaos that is Level Up if I hope to show the game there.

While there are still many questions lingering in the air, I’m looking ever more forward to actually doing work towards my thesis.

I have my idea.

I will go with what I previously stated in other entries: the game about my grandfathers. I’ve come to refer to it as Faded Memories. The more I think about, plan, and research methods of game creation and testing, the more I am certain this is what I will do.

I’ve never viewed research as a vital component of art practice, however now that I am actually doing it, I can see why it is important. By looking into research methods or existing methodologies, you get a greater understanding of ways to go about creating and how you should create it. By researching into testing methods for my own thesis, I’ve realized that I will have to get testers to do more than just play the game for bugs, I need them to evaluate the game on an emotional level. I’ll need to find out what makes a game more engaging and find ways of making the characters identifiable with the player.

Even methods of creation, such as iterative design will come in handy. As I’ll have to be creating this faster than most games are, I’ll have to design and test hand in hand. By doing everything in tandem with each other, it should generate a better result. When combined with testing for specific engagement, instead of specifically bugs (which will just come up in testing anyway), it will give me better analytics to work with in augmenting the overall experience.

The more I think about this, the more I just want to get down to making it.

Anxiety and feeling overwhelmed is now becoming a constant thing. There is too much to think about and it’s becoming too much to handle lately. Unfortunately, I have to just trudge through it and get it all done. It doesn’t help that I will be in Europe for two weeks next month, and therefore have to finish a lot of schoolwork ahead of time. C’est la vie…

Thesis has not progressed since last post except to say that I have been thinking about implementation in my head. Planning is something I feel I am pretty good at but I also realize it is an on-going process. Whenever I plan something, I try to think of it in its entirety. However, I quickly find out once I start implementing that I will need to plan more or plan a feature in greater detail. As such, these initial notes will change:

But that is what thesis is about. It’s about our practice and about fluidly changing the project as is required.

My sketchbook is not really a sketchbook anymore in a literal sense. I write notes, ideas, anything that comes to my mind and hope that I will be able to realize it all one day. My practice is never-ending because I generate more ideas that I can produce. I am well aware they are not all amazing ideas and some I’ll look at later and think “nah, that’s stupid” but it was an idea at one point. I think when I reflect on this and then think about my practice, I realize that I chase dreams and don’t have anything concrete to say about my practice as a whole. I do whatever comes to my mind and feel the need to constantly create things. If I’m not doing something, I’m not living in a way and that starts to make me antsy and nervous.

Maybe in a way it’s good I put too much on my plate, at least then I’m busy.

I believe I have determined what I will do for my thesis however now I have the problem of what does that mean? I have worked out that I want to do a personal project and something that I don’t feel I will have the time for outside of school (as it is probably very ambitious) so I will make a game about my grandparents and their experiences. This hits close to home and I will probably break a few times while making it but it will be worth my while.

The problem is: it’s just a game. What research and inspirations will I use to make it more meaningful? How do I explain that these things won’t just “help my project” but rather push my project and give the research context? I suppose what I’m worried about is how I make my research focus, focused. In my mind, it is focused, but perhaps that is only because it is a project that is close to my heart. Maybe since it is personal, the research I should count on will need to speak more to my personal experiences than anything else. I still need to use research that speaks to the experience of the player and the mood I want to show however.

Listing the key points in the project might help me organize my thoughts and speak to what research I need to obtain a better insight into how to make this project the best. But is that even the point? Should I make the project the best it can be or should I do the project for the sake of personal development?

Should I do something that follows my career path or that would be an interesting personal project? Should I do something creative or practical? I have several ideas for my thesis but I’m no closer to determining what I will eventually do for it. I find I don’t have the time to even think about it lately, let alone sit down and start researching and planning what I should do. I understand that the process can and, most likely, will change but that doesn’t mean I don’t have a starting point. Being let loose without any constraints makes the process seem a little hopeless because I’m used to creating things within a framework, not left to my own devices.

Maybe it is better to just choose one idea and see how it develops. However, if I do this and it doesn’t go well, do I drop the idea or do I keep with it? The three ideas I have I want to create but should I do them as personal projects or as a thesis project? I think what I should do is combine the problems and go forward with that idea. I think if I did something that was personal but will help me with my career goals it will be the best.